Enigmas!
by kandyfan4life
Summary: Brenda confronts Fritz about his alcoholism!


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!

Southern women are beautiful enigmas. Beautiful, crazy, insanely loveable enigmas. It takes a special type of person to truly understand a southern woman but it takes an even more special person to truly love a southern woman. Loving a southern woman has never been said to be 'easy' because it's nearly impossible to love one all the time, especially when they are doing everything in their power to push you over the edge. Fortunately for Brenda Leigh Johnson she was a lucky southern woman because she had found exactly what every southern woman dreams of; a strong, loving man that allowed her to the be manic mess that she has always been.

Fritz Howard had never expected to fall so quickly in love with Brenda when he had decided to hand deliver the file to her. He had not even planned to see her that much after a quick drink. However a force greater than any words could describe had pulled him to her. Something about her, maybe it was her smile, or maybe it was how she had charm but certainly not tact. There were thousands of reason Fritz had been drawn to her just as there were thousands of reasons she had not been able to let him walk away and just be 'friends'. What ever the reasons were both knew that they had found the person they were meant to spend the rest of their lives with.

Unfortunately though life does not always work out the way we think, and hope, it should. There are always road blocks along our paths in life and the road block that had brought Fritz and Brenda's plans of marital bliss to a screeching halt was in the form of Will Pope. Will's offer to help Brenda find a lower insurance rate for Fritz and she had been a mistake but Brenda agreed to it, desperate to get through her case without any unneeded distractions. Her hope of avoiding distractions were quickly shot though when Will came had came to her office later that day and told her something he 'hated' to tell her. The information Will had came as a shock to Brenda. At first she was not even sure if she had heard him correctly. For some reason the words 'Fritz' and 'DUI' did not go together. After Will left the office, allowing Brenda to absorb what she had just been told, thoughts quickly began running through her mind. Why had Fritz hidden this part of his past? Was he ever going to tell her? Was he hiding something other than just two DUI's? The possibilities became endless as Brenda tried to rationalize why Fritz had not disclosed that information about his past.

Fritz knew it was a gamble to make reservations for dinner without asking Brenda, but even when he did ask her there was at least a seventy-five percent chance that the reservations would have to be canceled. As he heard her key in the door and the clicking of her heels on the floor before the door was closed, he was glad that he had went ahead and had made the reservations. Maybe they could finally celebrate their engagement, just the two of them.

"Hey, I made reservations at your favorite restaurant!" Fritz said as he put on a different tie than the one he had worn to work earlier that day. Waiting for a response Fritz glanced in the mirror at Brenda's reflection and was shocked with what met his eyes. Instead of her usual smile, or, after a particularly bad day at work, a grimace, Fritz was shocked to see her face flushed with an unreadable expression spread across it. "Are you all right?" Fritz asked and he quickly turned to face her, his tie no longer registering on his radar.

"Um, Fritz, we need to talk," Brenda said as she took a step closer to the vanity, trying to keep as much distance between herself and him.

"Ok, but are you ok?" Fritz asked as he moved closer to here, his hand gently coming in contact with her arm.

"Please, don't!" Brenda whispered, not trusting her voice enough to speak any louder.

"Ok. Brenda, what's goin' on here?" Fritz was a bit baffled by Brenda's mood but decided the best way to figure out anything with Brenda was to allow her to tell him. Taking a few steps back from Brenda, Fritz noticed how she absent mindedly twisted the ring on her finger, a habit she had formed since having the ring properly sized so it would not slip off of her finger.

"Fritz, have….Is it all right in a….." Brenda sighed deeply unable to form the words she so desperately needed. She could have kicked herself, the one time that she needed to be on her toes, making sure that every word that came out of her mouth dug up the truth, she was unable to form a coherent sentence.

"Brenda, what is going on? I've never seen you like this." Fritz said, obviously astonished by Brenda's behavior. Behavior that was unusual even for Brenda.

"Are you an alcoholic?" Brenda's words came out quickly, too quickly for her to even realize that they had spilled from her mouth. Fritz stood frozen to the ground, horrified by Brenda's words. He had always known that this day would come, he had just hoped that it would be on his terms that he told. That she would find out from him, not just happen upon it by accident.

"Recovering!" Fritz's answer was barely audible as his head dropped and he stared at the carpet. Having years of experience at getting confessions out of people Brenda had become a pro at understanding the most inaudible sentences, but she had never been so shocked as she was by Fritz's.

"You're a recovering alcoholic?" Brenda did not mean for her voice to sound so harsh or shrill but by that point she could not control her emotions. Never, in a million years had she expected him to say that. When Will had told her about the DUI's she had just chalked them up to a rough case, one drink too many at a bar with a partner to relieve the stress from the case, but recovering from alcoholism was not something she had expected.

Brenda glanced at Fritz, her eyes searching his for an answer, an explanation, anything. She wanted, needed to know why he had not told her. She needed the answers to the millions of questions that were running through her mind. She wanted desperately to pounce and attack him like he was one of her murder suspects, to make him feel as unsure of things as she did at the moment. She wanted to make him talk and tell things her the things she needed to know so she could close this issue.

Fritz knew by the way Brenda glared at him that the conversation they were about to have was not going to be a pretty one. He recognized the look, it was the look that she saved for a suspect who was unwilling to cooperate and give her the answers she needed. The look sent most of her squad, and usually everyone else, running for the hills, and if Fritz did not feel so guilty for not telling her about his problem sooner, he too might have fled the house and tried to hide where she would not find him. But he knew that he could not do that to her. He owed her an explanation and no matter how hard it was for him to talk about that time in his life he was going to give her the answers she so desperately needed.

"Brenda, I am a recovering alcoholic. Six years ago I began drinking heavily and could not stop myself. I nearly lost my job, that's why I transferred to L.A. Out here I was able to start a rehab program and get my life back on track. I have been sober for four years and seven months." Fritz looked Brenda straight in the eye as he spoke each word. He hated seeing the shock flash in her eyes but she needed to hear it.

"Were you ever gonna tell me about it?" Brenda asked, her voice still harsh.

"Yes, I just wanted it to be on my terms when I told you. I didn't want you to feel like I had purposely not told you."

"But that's what you did!" Brenda's snide comment shocked Fritz. He had expected for her to be upset but he had not expected her to have so much contempt.

"It was not my intention to keep this from you. I was going to tell you as soon a…"

"What? As soon as we were married? You thought that if I married you I wouldn't mind knowin' about it after we were married. Were ya gonna tell me on the honeymoon? Or our one year anniversary? Or ,if we ever have a child, on it's birthday? Maybe when we're eighty and I'll be too old to have a ft? When were you goin' to tell me Fritz?" Brenda could no longer control the feelings that had been stirring inside of her all day long.

"Brenda, I was gonna tell you as soon as I was sure that you weren't gonna run out because you found a reason to call off our engagement!" Fritz had not meant to say it like that but he had said and he could tell from the look on Brenda's face that it had been the wrong thing to say.

"Fritz, how could you say that? I would never leave you because of somethin' like that, it would have just been nice if you had told me. How am I supposed to trust you?" It was now Brenda's turn to feel shame for what she had just said. She knew that the words would cut deeply but she could not control herself. She needed for Fritz to feel as badly as she did at that very moment.

Turning ever so slightly Brenda looked at Fritz and her heart immediately broke when she saw the apparent hurt on his face. Instead of the normal look of a strong man, his face was contoured in emotional pain and tears brimmed in his eyes.

"We have different flaws Brenda, but for you to say that you don't trust me….I don't even know what to say to that!" Fritz's voice quavered as he spoke.

"Fritz, you didn't tell me about somethin' as big as bein' a recoverin' alcoholic, what am I supposed to think? Are ya hiding anything else? Is there an ex-wife? An illegitimate child? What else aren't you tellin' me?" Brenda continued on her rant as Fritz tried to refrain from saying anything back to her. He did not want to hurt her, he had always known that when he did tell her about his past with alcoholism that she would be shocked, and irrational, especially since Brenda was who she was.

As Brenda's rant continued Fritz became more and more hurt by the accusations she was slinging at him. He had always known that to be such an excellent interigator she had to be one hell of an actress, and as her tirade continued he saw just how much she loved the dramatics. Maybe it was just her southern roots coming out, or maybe it was just her way of coping with situations when they were out of her control. Whatever the reason was though Fritz could feel his heart breaking a little bit more each time she threw another horrible assumption his way.

Women have been known through out time to be able to push all the right, or wrong, buttons depending on the time and place and as Brenda continued to rant Fritz finally realized that southern women in particular had a special knack for pushing the desired buttons. Or as Brenda referred to it several times, 'pokin' the bear', because each time she would say something a little bit more hurtful Fritz could almost feel a sharp, pointy ended stick being plunged deeper and deeper into his heart. That was what had made him say something that he would regret for the rest of his life, but might also be the thing that saved their future together.

"If you wanna talk about trust Brenda, what about Pope? What about all those nights you've had to work, and all the broken plans. You've been with Pope with all those times and I have not accused you of anything. And you know why? Because I love you and I trust you. I trust you Brenda, why can't you trust me?" Brenda immediately stopped her rant, completely and utterly shocked by Fritz's words. As she stood there, looking at him, trying to figure out why he had felt the need to bring Pope into the coversation, tears began brimming in her eyes. Fritz shocked Brenda as he gently took Brenda by the shoulders and pulled her towards him. "I love and trust you Brenda!" Fritz murmured as he pulled her in for a kiss.

As their lips met Brenda realized what a fool she had been. Fritz might not have told her about his alcoholism but he had been there for her in everyway humanly possible, and he had never, no matter what, had given her the reason not to trust him.

"Fritzi, I'm so sorry, I do trust yew!" Brenda gasped as she pulled away from the kiss. Horrified by the venomous words that she had flung at him. "Fritzi, I love yew too. I'm so sorry, please forgive me!" Brenda pleaded as she

"Of course I forgive you. I'm just so sorry that I never told you about my alcoholism." Fritz said as he kissed her on top of her head. Brenda shook her head and leaned in for a kiss.

"It's all right, even though you should have told me I understand why you didn't. But Fritzi, we've gotta be able to tell each other things."

"I know, you're right!" Fritz nodded, knowing very well that the last thing they needed was to start a marriage off with secrets. "Do you wanna talk about my past now?" Fritz asked, looking down at Brenda as she clung to him. Brenda glanced up at him and with a coy smile shook her head.

"No, I'd rather show you just how sorry I am." Brenda flashed him another wicked grin before planting a strong, passionate kiss on his lips. Fritz could not suppress a chuckle as he kissed her back.

The sheets were tangled around the two entwined, sweaty bodies as they lay in bed three hours later that night, both still euphoric from their previous activities. The smiles on their faces now replaced the hurt, tear stained expressions that had been on their faces just a couple of hours earlier, and as Fritz held Brenda closely it would be apparent to anyone just how much they loved each other.   
"Fritzi, I am so sor…" Brenda began as she propped herself up on one arm.

"Brenda, shhh, it's all right. I should have told you and I promise I will answer any of the questions you have about my past. All you have to do is ask." Fritz smiled at her as he too propped himself you on his arm. Brenda smiled at Fritz and quickly devoured his mouth in a long, hot kiss. Fritz quickly responded to the kiss and began to deepen the kiss when the shrill ringing of her phone broke the silence that surrounded them. Brenda groaned as her arm quickly shot out towards the bedside table and she grabbed the ringing contraption.

"Hello!" Brenda answered, out of breath.

"Uh Chief, are you ok?" Lieutenant Provenza tried to hide his amusement at what was obviously going on at the Chief's house, but his attempt failed miserably as a slight chuckle passed through his lips.

"Yes Lieutenant, I'm fine. Now what can I do for you?" Brenda asked, sitting up in bed.

"I just wanted to call you and give you a heads up before Chief Pope called ya."

"A head's up on what? Our murder investigation hasn't been proved a suicide has it?" Brenda asked, the thought deflating her still felt feeling of euphoria.

"No Chief, nothing like that." Provenza reassured her.

"Then what is it Lieutenant?" Brenda asked, becoming more and more flustered with Provenza. As Provenza explained between laughs to Brenda the events that had taken place just minutes after she had left Parker's Center she could not help but begin to laugh herself. "Well, thank yew so much Lieutenant for the update on events. I'll see ya tomorrow. Bye now!" Brenda giggled as she ended the call and reclaimed her spot in bed.

"What's so funny?" Fritz asked smiling at Brenda as wrapped her arms around him.

"That was Lieutenant Provenza, he decided to call and tell me about the latest development." Brenda smiled, trying to stop giggling.

"What latest development? If you're laughing it can't be bad!" Fritz said, intrigued by the latest update.

"Well, Flynn and Provenza have had a bet goin' about the new Medical Examiner, Dr. Morales, and let's just say that Provenza just won it."

"What was the bet?" Fritz asked, still unsure of why Brenda found this so amusing.

"Provenza said that he was gay and Flynn doesn't think so. He thinks that he just is a very well groomed man., but when Sergeant Gabriel went down to the morgue to get the Tox results Dr. Morales asked him out. Sergeant Gabriel of course turned him down, but when Detective Daniels found out about it she went to see Dr. Morales." Brenda had to stop speaking for a moment to allow the few remaining giggles that she was holding back to escape from her lips. Fritz smiled at Brenda, still not clear on what made the situation so funny.

"Where are Daniels and Morales now?" Fritz asked, hoping to understand why the situation seemed to be so funny.

"Detective Daniels is at home with Sergeant Gabriel and for some reason Dr. Morales is at the hospital getting six stitches for a long, scratch mark over his left eye brow!" Brenda laughed. Fritz quickly realized what Brenda was saying and he too could not help but laugh at the thought of Daniels jumping of the autopsy table and lunging at Dr. Morales.

"You've really rubbed off on your squad!" Fritz laughed as he wrapped his arms around Brenda and kissed the top of her head. Brenda gave Fritz a playful glare then kissed him again.

"Well, I hope Daniels and Sergeant Gabriel have what we have!" Brenda said as she gave Fritz and quick peck on the lips.

"Me too, just remind Sergeant Gabriel to never say anything that might make him Daniels' slave for the rest of his life." Fritz said as he smoothed an unruly curl of Brenda's hair down.

"Nah, he needs to learn that on his own. Sorta like you." Brenda smiled at Fritz.

"I would afraid you would say something like that. So I'm guessing that even though you are sorry for what you said and I'm sorry for what I said, I am still going to be your slave for the next few years."

"Yeah!" Brenda nodded, a smile plastered across her face.

"Ok, I guess I better go shopping for the male equivalent to a French Maid's uniform." Fritz smiled as he kissed Brenda's head once again.

"Yeah, and while you're there, look for some fuzzy, leopard print handcuffs!" Brenda laughed and kissed Fritz. Fritz did not bother responding, instead deepened the kiss, deciding that they did not need an French Maid's uniform, or the equivalent of it, nor the fuzzy handcuffs to have a good time.

Southern women are enigmas. Beautiful, crazy, insanely loveable enigmas. They can poke a bear with the sharpest stick they can find but if the said 'bear' really and truly loves her he will understand why she felt the need to defend herself. And if the women is truly a southern woman she will immediately realize her mistakes in rushing to past judgment and try to apologize with the utmost sincerity, and mean it.


End file.
